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Comments on: Tiger Moms and the Parenting Debate http://child-development.blogs.giggle.com/2011/01/31/tiger-moms-and-the-parenting-debate/ Just another giggle blogs weblog Wed, 09 Mar 2011 12:15:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: George Forman http://child-development.blogs.giggle.com/2011/01/31/tiger-moms-and-the-parenting-debate/comment-page-1/#comment-5578 George Forman Wed, 09 Mar 2011 12:15:59 +0000 http://child-development.blogs.giggle.com/?p=287#comment-5578 Amy Chua's approach assumed that forcing a child to practice violin, even if hated by the child, would lead to mastery and then later the consequences of mastery would cause the child to love the violin. Perhaps the main adjustment to this approach is what Don suggests: help the child find their own domain to master. But from a classic work (The Vanishing Adolescent) we know it takes years for children to find a passion about something. In the meantime I think we should let the child explore many domains. I also agree that we should insist children do not waste time, nor should we hurry the child (see David Elkind's book, The Hurried Child). Then there is the broader question about achievement. Why should a child younger than 10 be excellent at anything like a sport or musical instrument? How about excellent at listening to your friends or coming up with good ideas to maintain play or understanding what it means not to betray a friend or how to anticipate what upsets your younger brother or making a story interesting by given details and finding the suspense or helping other people know what information you need to understand something complex. Amy Chua’s approach assumed that forcing a child to practice violin, even if hated by the child, would lead to mastery and then later the consequences of mastery would cause the child to love the violin. Perhaps the main adjustment to this approach is what Don suggests: help the child find their own domain to master. But from a classic work (The Vanishing Adolescent) we know it takes years for children to find a passion about something. In the meantime I think we should let the child explore many domains. I also agree that we should insist children do not waste time, nor should we hurry the child (see David Elkind’s book, The Hurried Child).

Then there is the broader question about achievement. Why should a child younger than 10 be excellent at anything like a sport or musical instrument? How about excellent at listening to your friends or coming up with good ideas to maintain play or understanding what it means not to betray a friend or how to anticipate what upsets your younger brother or making a story interesting by given details and finding the suspense or helping other people know what information you need to understand something complex.

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By: Lloyd Lofthouse http://child-development.blogs.giggle.com/2011/01/31/tiger-moms-and-the-parenting-debate/comment-page-1/#comment-5146 Lloyd Lofthouse Mon, 07 Feb 2011 21:31:51 +0000 http://child-development.blogs.giggle.com/?p=287#comment-5146 Mr. Burton, The discussion you propose is where everyone that is involved in the Tiger Mother debate should be. Instead, a majority of the total supports her or says they enjoyed her memoir while the very vocal and vulgar minority condemns her for being a loving, demanding Tough Love parent. I was a teacher in public education for thirty years. Most credentialed teachers in the US have had the same training that I had, which continued for those thirty years. I started teaching in 1975 and left in 2005. To earn my teaching credential, I had to study how children learn and how the brain works in so many different ways when it comes to learning. We know that each child has different learning modalities, strengths and weaknesses. I cannot remember all the jargon that describes these modalities. However, what I learned was applied to the lessons I taught. It is challenging to teach a lesson that reaches as many of the children in a classroom as varied as they all are. Even when a teacher takes into account all of the different learning modalities that a child may have, if a child comes from a home where the parents haven't done his or her job raising a child, then the teacher may not be able to teach that child regardless of how effective the lesson may be. Children that do not read, study or do homework outside of school will not learn at a pace that will keep up with those children that were raised in homes practicing Tough Love. The role of the parent is different from that of a teacher. Parents take a wild child at birth and raise him or her to fit into society in a constructive way. Parents support education by providing an educational atmosphere at home, which studies show the average American parent is not doing. This means the parent is responsible to make sure the child comes home to an environment that is not dominated by the different types of media. We also cannot expect parents to go through all the training that a teacher must have to earn a teaching credential. Studies also show that the best parenting method fits within the definition of Tough Love. On a Tough Love scale of one to ten with Amy Chua being an eight or nine, it is obvious that there is a lot of room for parents to raise a disciplined child that spends more time reading, doing homework and studying than watching TV, social networking on Facebook, playing video games or writing endless text messages. The challenge in America is to convince parents to be parents instead of friends and providers of fun and follow your dream lifestyles—especially since most of a Child's dreams are unrealistic. Not everyone can be the next Bill Gates, a famous athlete earning millions a year, a super model, etc. Yet, that is what most children dream. Mr. Burton,

The discussion you propose is where everyone that is involved in the Tiger Mother debate should be.

Instead, a majority of the total supports her or says they enjoyed her memoir while the very vocal and vulgar minority condemns her for being a loving, demanding Tough Love parent.

I was a teacher in public education for thirty years. Most credentialed teachers in the US have had the same training that I had, which continued for those thirty years.

I started teaching in 1975 and left in 2005. To earn my teaching credential, I had to study how children learn and how the brain works in so many different ways when it comes to learning.

We know that each child has different learning modalities, strengths and weaknesses. I cannot remember all the jargon that describes these modalities. However, what I learned was applied to the lessons I taught. It is challenging to teach a lesson that reaches as many of the children in a classroom as varied as they all are.

Even when a teacher takes into account all of the different learning modalities that a child may have, if a child comes from a home where the parents haven’t done his or her job raising a child, then the teacher may not be able to teach that child regardless of how effective the lesson may be. Children that do not read, study or do homework outside of school will not learn at a pace that will keep up with those children that were raised in homes practicing Tough Love.

The role of the parent is different from that of a teacher. Parents take a wild child at birth and raise him or her to fit into society in a constructive way. Parents support education by providing an educational atmosphere at home, which studies show the average American parent is not doing. This means the parent is responsible to make sure the child comes home to an environment that is not dominated by the different types of media.

We also cannot expect parents to go through all the training that a teacher must have to earn a teaching credential.

Studies also show that the best parenting method fits within the definition of Tough Love. On a Tough Love scale of one to ten with Amy Chua being an eight or nine, it is obvious that there is a lot of room for parents to raise a disciplined child that spends more time reading, doing homework and studying than watching TV, social networking on Facebook, playing video games or writing endless text messages.

The challenge in America is to convince parents to be parents instead of friends and providers of fun and follow your dream lifestyles—especially since most of a Child’s dreams are unrealistic. Not everyone can be the next Bill Gates, a famous athlete earning millions a year, a super model, etc. Yet, that is what most children dream.

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By: More on the Tiger Mom debate… « ParentingInTheLoop's Blog http://child-development.blogs.giggle.com/2011/01/31/tiger-moms-and-the-parenting-debate/comment-page-1/#comment-5048 More on the Tiger Mom debate… « ParentingInTheLoop's Blog Fri, 04 Feb 2011 02:48:37 +0000 http://child-development.blogs.giggle.com/?p=287#comment-5048 [...] via Tiger Moms and the Parenting Debate | Child Development | giggle Blogs. [...] [...] via Tiger Moms and the Parenting Debate | Child Development | giggle Blogs. [...]

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