Then there is the broader question about achievement. Why should a child younger than 10 be excellent at anything like a sport or musical instrument? How about excellent at listening to your friends or coming up with good ideas to maintain play or understanding what it means not to betray a friend or how to anticipate what upsets your younger brother or making a story interesting by given details and finding the suspense or helping other people know what information you need to understand something complex.]]>
The discussion you propose is where everyone that is involved in the Tiger Mother debate should be.
Instead, a majority of the total supports her or says they enjoyed her memoir while the very vocal and vulgar minority condemns her for being a loving, demanding Tough Love parent.
I was a teacher in public education for thirty years. Most credentialed teachers in the US have had the same training that I had, which continued for those thirty years.
I started teaching in 1975 and left in 2005. To earn my teaching credential, I had to study how children learn and how the brain works in so many different ways when it comes to learning.
We know that each child has different learning modalities, strengths and weaknesses. I cannot remember all the jargon that describes these modalities. However, what I learned was applied to the lessons I taught. It is challenging to teach a lesson that reaches as many of the children in a classroom as varied as they all are.
Even when a teacher takes into account all of the different learning modalities that a child may have, if a child comes from a home where the parents haven’t done his or her job raising a child, then the teacher may not be able to teach that child regardless of how effective the lesson may be. Children that do not read, study or do homework outside of school will not learn at a pace that will keep up with those children that were raised in homes practicing Tough Love.
The role of the parent is different from that of a teacher. Parents take a wild child at birth and raise him or her to fit into society in a constructive way. Parents support education by providing an educational atmosphere at home, which studies show the average American parent is not doing. This means the parent is responsible to make sure the child comes home to an environment that is not dominated by the different types of media.
We also cannot expect parents to go through all the training that a teacher must have to earn a teaching credential.
Studies also show that the best parenting method fits within the definition of Tough Love. On a Tough Love scale of one to ten with Amy Chua being an eight or nine, it is obvious that there is a lot of room for parents to raise a disciplined child that spends more time reading, doing homework and studying than watching TV, social networking on Facebook, playing video games or writing endless text messages.
The challenge in America is to convince parents to be parents instead of friends and providers of fun and follow your dream lifestyles—especially since most of a Child’s dreams are unrealistic. Not everyone can be the next Bill Gates, a famous athlete earning millions a year, a super model, etc. Yet, that is what most children dream.]]>